For international women’s day, let’s get a shout-out to all the immigrant mothers who give everything they have so that their children can have the opportunities they deserve.
Discussing Albanian nationalism over ice cream cones, naturally
#vscocam TPA love (at Tampa International Airport (TPA))
maladeleine asked: i constantly compare my life to everyone else's and it makes living as myself seem a whole lot shittier than it probably is and i don't know how to stop. i just want to be slightly verging on somewhat satisfied with my life in the moment. how the fuck do i do that?
Stop looking at other people like there’s some kind of universal unit of measurement for happiness, because there’s not. What’s making your buddies happy isn’t necessarily going to make you happy, so you’ve gotta take more opportunities to look at yourself and what you have the power to change in your life, and then start toying around with that. Who do you want to be? How do you want to get there?
It’s easier said than done, but start checking yourself when you’re comparing. If you’re looking at someone’s really nice thing or relationship or situation or whatever, and feel yourself starting to feel shitty about yourself as a result, a little red strobe light should go off in your brain and you should think “Ahhh! This doesn’t matter!” over all of your thoughts until they go away. I know that’s probably just replacing one anxiety behavior with another, but that’s what I do and I’m still breathing. Ahh! This doesn’t matter! This doesn’t matter! This doesn’t matter! Until eventually, “Ooh, I’d love a ham sandwich,” or, “Later tonight let’s watch Blackfish,” falls into your brain and you’re back on your way.
Right now you have some river valleys that you’ve carved out over time that you know how to send your thoughts down. When you see a thing, you have a reflex, and it’s easy to keep repeating because you’ve done it so much. You just have to divert those rivers and carve out some new valleys. Dig into some fresh brainspace. Be the dam you want to see in the world.
When you catch yourself comparing, acknowledge it (“Oh, here is this icky thing I do. I’m doing it now.”), accept it (“I know this is a thing I do, and I am not a piece of evil garbage for doing it. It is very normal.”) and then give your thoughts somewhere else to go. Get into shipbuilding. Explore this queer earth.
"I tend to be cynical about a lot of things, but Maya Angelou is somebody that no matter how much I pick her apart, she still has integrity. She was a victim of incest and rape, and she worked as a stripper. And now she’s a literary icon and Nobel Laureate. It goes to show that life is cumulative, and you can’t devalue any type of experience."
You guys, it’s just been one of those days where you log onto your bank’s website 50 times while you’re at work and you try to add things up, try to will the numbers to be different, and you regret every stupid thing you’ve bought for the past six months and you beat yourself up and you call your mom on your lunch break and then again after work and you cry on the phone because you can’t afford Christmas gifts or the stupid fucking expensive Christmas cards you bought and your family deserves better, your boyfriend and your friends deserve better than this girl without self-control, without the capacity for austerity or the ability to lose weight or get up early. You eat old chocolate out of the fridge and you pack a suitcase and you try to think of anything but this - the money and the weight and the failure and the heaviness in your chest - and you hug your boyfriend for a long time and text your mom again, even though she won’t answer, and you vow to change, you swear you’re going to get your shit together, you’ll be better, you’ll be smarter, more grownup and a better daughter, and you get in bed early, wheels still turning, throat still lumpy, evening still all fucked up. And you remember that Thanksgiving is just days away, that you still have a life you love, in spite of pants sizes and empty savings accounts, despite not being the sort of girl who updates her Facebook daily with the reasons why she’s thankful, you’re still thankful, mad at yourself as you are. And you realize you could spend all fucking night listing the reasons why you don’t deserve to be happy, and then you could tear that list to pieces or you could sleep and try this damn thing again in the morning.
You know those days?
Joshua Angell || Eight Things To Start Doing (via joshwritespoetry)